We are born with a shapeless, formless mind; a mind enthused to understand how the world works. It realizes one thing very quickly – competition is everywhere. Not all competitions are riddled with entry procedures, nervous breakdowns, or even victory speeches. But they have one thing in common. Whether you win, lose, or merely participate, you will be judged.

Judging is not a real problem, until it becomes a part of your perception. Have you met those who judge you before talking to you? What about those who judge after hearing a rumor? And you surely must have met those who call others judgmental.

Judging is Judging

That day is very far when you won’t be judged for your appearance. Your face, race, height, weight, voice, choice — are all subject to judgment. “Women are bad drivers”, “Guys don’t understand the emotional problems”, “Fat people are ugly”; statements that don’t make logical sense tend to carry a false truth. Judgment Day is when we would get to know our fates; now Judgment Day cometh everyday.

Appearance is one of the many facets of personality that seem to matter. It has now extended to the things you carry along with you. You become ‘cool’ when you own the fruit phone. You may not need it; you may buy it to show that you can afford it. You keep it on the table in meetings; your trouser pockets are big enough to fit a shoe. You know all of the advertised features; you want to prove that you know your phone. You do the same even if you have the space phone. You fight over which is better; you fight over who chose better.

The judgmentality is sown so deep within souls, that it’s growing with us, nourishing itself onto us. It’s a part of our life that we don’t want in others, but want to keep for ourselves. Without it, there are no conclusions, no deductions, no inductions. With it, there are ice breakers at parties, snickering at passersby, rejections at offices.

Being judgmental is often mistaken for being funny. People make snide remarks with sarcasm, and expect others to laugh with them. It might be funny for everyone except the person being made fun of. People tend to appreciate the remarks only if they are not meant for them.

We need to be raised to appreciate the beauty on the inside. That appreciation is lost somewhere. The overwhelming choices of products that claim to make you younger, prettier, handsomer, is increasing. Sadly, and untruly, they also claim to make you better. We are giving way to more options for being judged.

As with everything, there is a fine line between judging and criticizing. The latter, if done correctly, might help you and your friends improve. The former pushes people away from each other. We are already growing in population on a limited land, and getting farther away from each other. Human beings evolved to be social; our rebellions today are making it more difficult to hold on to our roots. How far can we grow without strong foundations? How tall will we stand before the winds bring us down? How long will it be before we accept each other as we are?

We are the missing links of each other. The only way to connect them is to open up, and welcome the difference.

“Be curious, not judgmental.” Walt Whitman (Poet)


8 thoughts on “Judgmentality

  1. Great attempt to understand self, others and the environment….. and for being non judgmental …one has to…Just Be….without becoming any other thing psychologically……..I recommend, two books 1. Freedom from the known, and 2. First and Last Freedom by Jiddu krishnmurti………

  2. Very well written Shreyas. but again, an argument can be made on this one.

    your blog puts judging someone as a negative action. this may be true on a number of occasions. but being the engineers that we are, we rely completely on statistics for everything in our life. and many a times, judging something based on experience and a statistical analysis can be a good thing also.

    considering we have a basketball background, let me cite an example on why i say the above.
    lets say you want to buy a pair of shoes to play basketball since the soles on your old ones are worn out. Action shoes puts in an advertisement that they have newly developed a shoe just for basketball. it costs Rs 4000. you can get a pair of nike shoes at the same price too. what would you go for?

    i’d definitely buy the nike shoes because a statistical analysis in my experience says that if i am paying 4000 for a pair of shoes, i might as well buy the trusted brand in the market. in that case, being “judgemental” against action may or may not be a good decision. for all we know, the action shoes may last 10 years and i made a bad choice.

    so my question is, if the action wears off in 2 months, wouldnt the cost of being open to new stuff work against me? the same example can apply to relationships between selecting new friends or lovers. between choosing a new job.

    i do not mean to disprove of your blog, just making a valid argument. it may backfire on me, but it cannot be completely disparaged.

    P.S. keep the blogs coming. you write well.. πŸ™‚

    1. Thanks for such a well thought comment!

      I agree with you about using our judgment to choose certain things in life. Be it relationships, friends, or jobs. We cannot make right choices for ourselves if we don’t analyze the situation well.

      Having said that, I must clarify what I mean by judgmentality. It’s not our ability to take a judgment, but the tendency of being judgmental. When a person is being judgmental, he/she is relying on a certain view about the person/world. In other words, making assumptions and getting conclusions without sufficient data/information. Judgmentality as a word has a very negative connotation; here it basically means faultfinding.

      From your example of choosing one brand of shoes over the other, we can surely say that the person was being judgmental about Action; assuming that Action shoes, though priced at the same range as Nike’s, will never be as good as Nike. Statistically, Nike is going to be the wise choice. And if you choose Action because you want to be open to new stuff, you are taking a risk.

      If Action wears off in 2 months, your risk didn’t pay off. On the other hand, if it lasts longer than Nike would, the risk was worth it. How would you know which one to go for? Like you said, statistical analysis and experience would make you choose Nike.

      Now the question is would being judgmental always be a bad thing? No. If I hear about an area notorious for robberies and muggings, I would be judgmental about traveling through that area. It might actually help me.

      What if I also hear rumours about someone? People talk about the reasons someone is fat; I hear them and say to myself that it must be true, because people are saying so. I haven’t even put any efforts in trying to get to know that person, and I’m already making conclusions/judgments about him/her. I don’t think that’s a fair behavior.

      So what I’m trying to say is, that when I’m being judgmental about someone, I’m closing the door for any positive views. Why would people talk to me when I’m summarizing them with my conclusions?

      Although logic can be applied to relationships, or friendships, we know that it doesn’t always work. Human relationships are based on complex mechanisms, and cannot be boiled down to statements, statistics, or judgments. They will prosper as long as we handle them delicately. πŸ™‚

  3. Great comments and a really well written peice. I’m curentally writing a peice called judgmentality in my creative writing class and plan on touching on some of the subject you have talked about. Thanks for the great argument as well. Keep the posts coming!

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